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JHaley's News

Still packing for yet another trip to Japan. What is this, my fifteenth one now? Yes, it's amazing every time, but usually it's because I go to different cities other than TOKYO.

Well, whatever. No point complaining when your traveling cohort won't listen.

Anyhow, I was going to give you guys a little excerpt of something I wrote for you to read while I was away on my trip, but instead, I give you this:

Or, how hard I laugh at the audacity of idiots.

So, the other day, I wrote this little thing on my deviantart page, and, as per usual, the first person to reply was Salem. But immediately after he replied, somebody else replied with a typical slamming of works as compared to their own.

You know flamers, right? The guys who have about as much brain capacity as a termite, and yet they still see themselves as the rightful heirs to the throne of awesome?

I sure HOPE you do, otherwise you've been living under a rock of shame covered by a veil of lies.

Anyhow, so he's off spouting the usual dumbass shit that every flamer does: "Oh, this looks like crap, oh, you're gay, oh, my penis is the size of antarctica, oh, I'm such a loser with less of a life than you, but I'm too scared to admit it in the open."

And as with every flamer is the valiant protector of the innocent and the weak... who summarily gets shot down immediately after they're done speaking. In this case, that would be Salem, who finally just stopped replying after about the tenth time the dumbass flamer insulted him. I don't know why he got so mad, the guy obviously can't tell his own dick from his brain, so I wasn't worried. I just calmly sat there and endured it.

All the while wondering how long this guy was going to type until his fingers fell off due to gangrene.

Well, it turns out, the longer you endure a flamer, the more angry they get that you're not violently reacting towards them for their own personal gain. It came to the point where I stopped replying just to see what would happen.

Holy hell, did he ever cut loose.


Then, after I fell asleep, as I usually do at random intervals because I like dozing off, the flamer gave up and left with a note of warning that if I ever wrote anything again, he'd make sure it got deleted because it sucked.

Meh. One man's opinion doesn't count for that of a thousand.

Y'think I probably should've told him that? Cause I don't.

Flamer? Really? Show me the lighter and Axe Body Spray, kid.

Japan? WHY GOD, WHY?!

2009-10-19 18:31:36 by JHaley

I'm gonna' mock Zyrios here and use his script style to describe the (rather interesting) conversation I had with Salem about going to Japan. Again. For the first time in three months.


SALEM: Oh, come on! I'm sure as hell not going alone! And I read your Newgrounds post where you said you'd rather be in Japan with me, and not Ryu, because Ryu's too strict when he's in Japan!

JASON: I just got the fuck back from Italy like, a month and a half ago! You expect me to travel again?!

SALEM: It'd be better than setting up for Halloween for everybody.


SALEM: Okay, one, you forgot ninjas, and two, since you set up for Halloween every year, and I figured it'd be a nice change for once.

JASON: Did you forget that I have to pay my own damn bills and that I can barely afford another plane trip? If I agree on this one, I'm not flying again for a whole damn year so that I can give my insurance a chance to get my next year set up.

SALEM: Wow, you have a really understanding insurance company.

JASON: Would you believe me if I told you that they're thinking about hiring a Russian assassin just to kill me because of the shit I put them through every year?

SALEM: Russian? Why Russian?

JASON: Because I'm from Russia and they want to be "Racially Friendly".


That's about all I could remember of the whole five-hour-long conversation.

Pic unrelated.

Japan? WHY GOD, WHY?!


2009-10-13 22:52:29 by JHaley

So, Zack's back from Bali...

Well, actually, he's BEEN back, just been too lazy to tell anybody.

And wonder of wonders, he, Marissa, Yano, and Jack have all signed up for NaNoWriMo.

I have a funny feeling Salem and Bryce aren't too far behind. They're both too excited about it to just let it go like I initially did. (Writing contests usually bore me.)

In the meantime, a little bird tells me that Halloween is coming up soon. Best start making ideas for a costume. Not for me, I don't do Halloween stuff, I meant for everybody ELSE. Since I don't do the Halloween-y, knock-on-your-door-get-candy, costume-dress-up, get-sick-from-milk-duds-the-next-day thing, everybody makes ME do all the preparations for THEM so that I'm not left out of the loop.


(pic unrelated.)


"You're A Dumbass"

2009-10-08 00:17:38 by JHaley

Appropriate times to use "Dumbass":

1. When the fucker spills your drink on you

2. When you get shot by some idiot who can't aim

3. When your friend smokes eighty cigs and then wonders how he got cancer

4. When you smash your head through a wall

5. When you smash your FRIEND'S head through a wall

INappropriate times to use "Dumbass":

1. When somebody compliments you

2. When somebody shares your views

3. When somebody is nice to you in general (Actually, I STILL call them dumbass)

So, answer me this: Why, when I was being nice to some dude, did I get called a dumbass? Was he just trying to tell me that I probably should've kept to myself, or did he do it for teh lulz?


2009-09-29 23:45:58 by JHaley

So, while continuing to write for NaNoWriMo when it comes up, I suddenly look and find, what else, but a PM in my inbox on this site. And this wasn't even five minutes ago, mind you. This one was just newly answered:

Subject: I'm horny

Content: What should I fuck?

Now, to anybody who ever looks at my responses to mail from people like these, can you guess what I immediately do with them?

Yep. I insult them, and then shove said question back in their faces and let them carry it off to some other shmuck who might actually care.

And that's pretty much exactly what I did with this guy.

Immediately following, I got an email from my buddy, Salem (SalemWaribara), asking me if he knew where in god's name he left his book.


Let this be a lesson, kids:

Don't drink and read.


2009-09-27 21:47:26 by JHaley

So, there's this site called NaNoWriMo.

Know about it?

Brownie points if you do.

It stands for National Novel Writing Month.

It's a site where, every once a year, writer types like me go to see if in one month's time they can write over 50,000 words. This year, we're doing it in November. I still have about a month to wait before I can submit anything of my own.

But, that's okay, I can still tinker around.

Come November 1, though, you won't see much of me because my hands are going to be FUCKING tired from typing. 50,000 words may seem like a lot to you, but for me, I can probably write that much in about... Well, two hours tops. Maybe less if I seem to want to talk a lot. But either way, 50,000 words by midnight, November 30. That is not an easy deadline to meet, if you procrastinate like me, or if you type really really slow. I'm hoping I'll have enough of my story done by November so that I can put it off for a while before submitting it.

At the moment, I can't post anything about my story except for a description and an excerpt.

PS: If you want to find my NaNoWriMo account, look for username NikolaiPetrovich in the Authors search bar. I decided to use an alias because I figure I might use an alias when and if I publish a story anyhow, like Samuel Clemens did. His alias is Mark Twain, did you know that?

Fuck no, you didn't.

Anyhow, if you like to write and want to join up, go ahead and sign up to NaNoWriMo's website. I know, a month may seem rather long to wait, but hey, I'm using the time I have to write as much of my story as I can so that when I submit it, I'll already have a good head start on some other people who put it off until it was actually time to start writing it.

Wish me luck. Or don't, I don't care.


PSS: Pic semi-related. It's supposed to express how much I know I'm going to die when November is over.



2009-09-25 20:17:02 by JHaley

"...So, are you back in America now, or did your plane get jacked by terrorists and is now headed for some random place where you're all being held hostage?"

No, dumbass. I'm back in America. I just haven't updated my profile news lately. Leave me alone.

Alright. I'm on my plane back home now. Should hopefully be back by tomorrow at the latest.

I accidentally left one of my books in Italy. Oh well, I can get another copy of it.

Coming home soon

2009-09-20 13:54:49 by JHaley

Three days left in Italy. I'll be home soon, and nobody's getting any souvenirs because I'm just mean like that.

And I forgot my camera, so... no pictures, either. Sorry.

Stuffs from Italia. Again.

2009-09-19 13:22:42 by JHaley

Let's see... so, if it's currently Saturday in California... but it's still Friday over here... then I should be returning home in about... Four more days.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Now then, to the real news.

I met up with some chick who had been monitoring my profile pages on both Newgrounds and DeviantART, because she was a huge fan (Why do I have FANS to begin with? Nothing special about me in the least). She recognized me in the half second it took me to realize her shirt said "Y SO SIRIUS?", referring to the character Sirius Black from the Harry Potter books.

The girl flipped out.

I don't think I've ever had anybody fall in love with me while rapidly speaking Italian so that I couldn't keep up.

Max was behind me in the street dying, half because he was laughing too hard, and half because he'd just gotten hit by a Vespa scooter.

So, I tried to calm the lady down in Spanish (because I don't know how to say GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!! in Italian), and I got this blank stare in return. Then she just kept on fangasming.

Now, I think the girl is stalking me.

Do the Italian authorities have any laws against stalkers, or does she have to somehow sexually abuse me for me to get some form of restraining order? I don't know how things work here...

Well, let's move on to some more stuff of trivial matter:

R3c0Nzi13 is currently in the process of writing his chapter of the Minerva story.

Zyrios has a beer high from playing too much Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.

SalemWaribara may or may not be reviewing another video game later today, depending on if he ever is going to update his news page.

R3c0Nzi13 will also be putting up some new stuff today. (Finally)

As for me, I'll try and spend some more time on DeviantART, to make up for the neglect I've shown it.

My buddy, Leif, will help me out with my profile, since he has access to my computer at home, and I left a list of things I wanted to put on DeviantART today.

For now, I bid you all adieu, and leave you with an email some idiot left me in hopes that I'd somehow act as god and solve all his problems:

"Dear Jason,
I'm having some troubles with these kids who want to beat me up. They've seen me reading sitting in front of a wall, and they think I'm a nerd for reading anything at all, because they think it's a waste of time. But I really like to read. I'm really scared that these guys will hurt me, and I don't want to fight back because I don't want any attention from anybody at all at my school. What should I do?

Faithful reader,
Miles *Name deleted for privacy*"

Miles, you've asked the wrong guy for help on this. Of course, if I were to relate to my timid middle school self, I'd have to say I just called their bluff to see if they were serious or not. They usually weren't, because they were the type of idiots who talked tough but couldn't hurt a fly. If these guys are anything different, just do what I did then, as well: don't fight back, since it's a waste of energy to fight brainless morons, but rather tell them the consequences of attacking a kid who, from reading, knows everything needed to be known about winning a street fight. Or, in your case, a school fight. If they call your bluff, show them you ain't bluffing. But, yeah, I'm really not that much of a help, so my other helpful hint would be practice some Martial Arts so the guys won't know what hit them if they try and hurt you later.