So, the new Twilight movie (New Moon, if you didn't know) is coming out soon.

REALLY soon.

And already, I'm starting to get emails asking whether or not I'm going to go see it.

"Dear Jason,

The New Moon movie has a midnight showing on Friday! Wanna' come see it with me? *chuuu*"

No. Especially not, since you just CHUUU'D at me.

"Edward iz sooooo hawt!"

Whoop-dee-doo. Learn to spell, and maybe I'll give a damn.

"Who's team are you on?"

Team Tyler's Van, because had Edward not fucked everything up, Twilight wouldn't exist. One less evil from the world.

"Do you like Twilight? It's totally awesome! You totally need to read it!"

No. I do not like that piss-poor excuse of a book that I burn on a daily basis for warmth. I will NEVER read it.

This is only a small example of the crap I'm getting.

Stephanie Meyer? Fuck you, anally.