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More RP.

2009-10-30 23:36:15 by JHaley

Your party comes across another town.

--Enter town

You can't enter town.

--Why the hell not?!

The gates have been sealed by the dark forces of evil, and a big evil demon with a gigantic axe tied up with chicken wire and the heads of dead warriors guards the gate. He looks at you with malicious intent in his eyes.


--Fine, kill demon, THEN enter town.

You can't kill demon.


It's immortal

--Aw, what the FUCK?

But it can die still.


To kill this demon, you will need to find:

(2) bombs
(3) shotguns
(500) holy bullets
(1000) willing compatriots
(2,000,000) evil wizards -

--Couldn't I just go through the hole in the wall right next to him?

Oh. Yes, I... guess that works too.

You enter the town via a conveniently placed hole in the wall (Damn cheaters). What do you do?

--Send team to ask locals about current situations

Jason releases his team into the wild, armed only with their weapons, and questions about whatever the hell is going on here. I would imagine that would include the demon thing.


Well, we'll just gloss over that then.

Bryce asks an elderly woman, who tells him: "Them damn kids and their magic tricks done summoned a damn hole in my cabbage patch! Next thing I know, a big ol' sucker wit' a freakin' AXE comes ragin' through town! Now I can't get mah groceries!"


Leif asks a former soldier, who gives him a complete layout of the situation using military terms and drawing up several maps. Leif finally dies from a major headache. Salem is forced to respawn him.


Salem asks a teenager, who, after smoking from his bong, relays the entire story, and how he saw the whole thing, and how it was a bunch of evil wizards.

--That's not only the most useful piece of information in this town...

Jason asks a five year old. And that five year old says his daddy was part of that cult, and that he was "going to work, don't expect me back until sundown".

--What. The. FUCK.

Yes, Jason. WTF indeed.

Your party books a room in the nearby hotel and decides to plan a BIG HUGE ADVENTURE, ZOMG!!! Then you realize that three of you are military personnel, therefore, because RPGs hate you, you're somehow very weak and pathetic, and the fourth one is a ninja, therefore really fast, but retardedly easy to kill.

Might be a good time to gain a couple levels, hm?

--Training room

Jason activates the Animus with his mind and brings up a simulated training room for each of you to train in.

HP: ???
MP: ???
Lewts: 999 monies

Jason attacks!

For 200 damage!

Training Dummy dies!

Party gains lewts!

Jason gains level!

This is the simplest combat system in the world!

CHALLENGE TWO: Training Drone
HP: ???
MP: ???
Lewts: Potion

Bryce attacks!

For 455 damage!

Training Drone dies!

Party gains lewts!

Bryce gains level!

To be continued!!!


(Pic unrelated. I just thought it looked cool.)

More RP.


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2009-10-30 23:38:19

I don't get it.

JHaley responds:

That's the whole point of this RP we're doing. We don't get it either, we're just dicking around.