Let's talk anime for a second, ah 'kay?

Now, see, I don't mind it here and there, and I enjoy pictures of it sometimes, but when you put anime porn in my inbox for me to see because you just want me to feature your email in one of my many email answering news posts, yeah, that's where I draw the line. Seriously, how about YOU try waking up from a dream that was about a Mafia boss holding you hostage and about to kill you when your best buddy busts in and kicks their asses and frees you, allowing you to steal the information about a huge drug war going on somewhere in South Africa that you later hand to the General of the United States Military who passes it along to the president who later sends out forces to break the whole thing up, then you check your email, and you find THIS in your inbox:

Anime rape poster I got in my inbox

See, I don't mind looking at girls, and I don't mind bikinis, because my hormones, after about age seventeen, have completely shut down and given way to maturity and acceptance, but PLEASE, for the love of GOD, DON'T send me pictures of rape or girls using their fingers to force open their unmentionables! Makes me want to throw up! Especially since my step sister, Alice, nearly got raped, had I not been in the other room at the time and was able to stop it before it happened.

Now then, on to business:

I did say I'd be answering emails (Excluding the picture one), so here goes.

"Dear Jason:
Have you ever had sex in your life?"

Not yet, but that's because my girlfriend and I are holding off on it until we're absolutely sure we're ready.

"Yo, Jason, Yo really oughta' smack dat sometime soon, ya pussy"

What's with all these emails asking about sex?! Well, for one thing, I don't listen to gangster's opinions because more likely than not, while I know a few smart ones who really want to change their habits, there are quite a few others who'd suggest you do drugs out your ass until your lungs give out, and on top of that, have sex until you contract a fatal disease, become sterile, and die. So, this email shall go unreplied to.

"So, I hear you're working on a parody now. How many projects does that make that you're working on?"

Fifty. XD

"So, your buddy Leif seems a bit tripped out over this email business and you leaving on a moment's notice without telling anybody. What's up with that?"

I'm more active at night. And sometimes I get emails from people who want to meet me in private, so I'll just leave without telling anybody, and if they follow me, I tell them to go back home and get some sleep, that they're just hallucinating, whatever. It seems to work out just fine. Plus, Leif knows exactly what those emails are about. It's our little code in our group of friends, you write a nonsense email, capitalize all the letters in it that spell out the message you're looking for, and then send it to the person. It's simple, yeah, but it's thrown off many people. In fact, I even left the letters uncapitalized just to throw off some hacker who'd been stalking me through my modem. Once I caught him at the location that I put in the fake email to throw him off, he got his ass beat like never before and ran home crying to mommy.

Nothing huge, Leif's just a worry-wart.

"Have you played Assassin's Creed?"

Yep, and I'm gonna' get the second game when it hits my end of town. I love Assassin's Creed.

"W010101010101, 1337 h4><0rz ftw!

Wolololololololol, Zack Tanner ftw.

"Can you draw a picture of yourself so I know who to look for when I'm stal-er, having a nice lunch with you later?"

Thank god I can't draw...

Well, that's about all for now. I'ma go randomly beat my head against the wall.

Toodle-oo!